I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
