Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I am coming home for anal

  (254): View more from Texas

  * a nap*

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  (254): I am coming home for anal (254): * a nap* http://tfl.nu/ou5x
  Replies (39) Good night (12036) Bad night (1617)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5163) Bad night (1728)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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  (631): I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude http://tfl.nu/oumf
  Replies (12) Good night (1692) Bad night (3449)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.

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  (702): I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks. http://tfl.nu/qdu7
  Replies (26) Good night (956) Bad night (5838)
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  (914): View more from New York

  im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj

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  (914): im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj http://tfl.nu/kgi8
  Replies (22) Good night (5585) Bad night (1781)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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  (306): But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances http://tfl.nu/e227
  Replies (4) Good night (2195) Bad night (767)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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  (402): I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious. http://tfl.nu/b9xl
  Replies (12) Good night (3766) Bad night (1210)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.

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  (863): Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter. http://tfl.nu/u1po
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (1362)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing

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  (339): Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing http://tfl.nu/jt81
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.

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  (563): I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word. http://tfl.nu/iv5v
  Replies (9) Good night (910) Bad night (957)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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  (908): I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested. http://tfl.nu/1tav
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (411)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You fucker.

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  (603): Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age. (1-603): You fucker. http://tfl.nu/7pi3
  Replies (6) Good night (1303) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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  (306): I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later. http://tfl.nu/c155
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (334)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

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  (321): Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning. http://tfl.nu/diz8
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?

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  (732): is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex? http://tfl.nu/6ehb
  Replies (10) Good night (600) Bad night (265)

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