Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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