You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!