This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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