In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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