so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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