how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
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Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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