very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
