nut hugger
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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