i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
