Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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