I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
