Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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