you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
