Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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