Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize