How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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