Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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