Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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