I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
