don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Come share oat with me in your robe
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
