I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
