Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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