So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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