Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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