Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
