Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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