Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
