Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
