I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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