Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
