so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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