420 ftw
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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