Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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