hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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