It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
