why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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