I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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