at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
