Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
