I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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