My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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