Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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