I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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