He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
