I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
