I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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