obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
