saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
