I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its not stalking. its research.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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