We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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