Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
