Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
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Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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