Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he puts the penis in happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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