Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
