I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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