I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
