We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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