I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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