At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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