He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
