u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had sex bonerless
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
