She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you had me at cake vodka
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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